Well, we have certainly had a busy few months. Today is no less busy as we pack for at least a 4-month stay in Phoenix. Many of you know what's going on but many of you don't. I will update again soon, but wanted to take just a few minutes to describe my state of mind today as we are embarking on this new phase of treatment.
I feel like we are heading off for an extended vacation. We live in the cloudiest, rainiest place on the continent and now are blessed to be heading for temps around 86 degrees with sunshine and clear skies every single day. How amazing is that? How excited are we? Very!
Yes, there are some elements of the unknown, but this is our next (not last) best shot at ridding my body of this cancer. I believe that God put this clinic in my path at this time for a reason and we are going to see if that reason is because God's cure lies therein.
For now, I am feeling pretty good. I played soccer last night (which was a blast!!) full well knowing that I may have some substantial pain today and tomorrow as a result; today, I have no pain. We get on the airplane this evening and I may develop some pain, but I have long since decided that playing soccer is worth the pain to me. I only hope I can help with all the luggage and carry-ons as we make our way South.
Thanks for checking in. I hope to see you here again soon and often.
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Saturday, June 28, 2014
kickin' up the vegan path
Well, well. It has been a very long time since I've blogged. Can't imagine anyone (certainly not everyone) is still checking in, but for those who are, I've got some news.
Since March 2013, I've been having blood drawn every three months to be on top of any abnormalities. Each test, my tumor markers have continued to go down. Slowly, almost imperceptibly sometimes, but definitely heading in the right direction. Not always as quickly as we'd like to see them go, but still, they were merrily heading down, which is were we want them to go. Almost to zero if we can get them there.
They were.
The first week of June, the test showed the markers have doubled since my last test on March 1.
Now, this is not automatically terrifying. For one, we don't know why the numbers went up. This could be due to many things and we haven't ruled out any of them. Some culprits are (in the order they come to my brain): faulty or botched test; cancer cells have congregated and formed into another tumor; my diet and stress level were both awful for the three-month period and the numbers are showing the effects.
Another thing, the numbers are still in a relatively normal range. With these numbers, I still wouldn't be diagnosed with cancer (again). I'm still doing fine, but possibly something is changing and we want to know now before I can actually see and feel a tumor like last time.
My gut instinct is that it is diet- and stress-related. And here's why-
In April we put our dog down. That was just brutal. She was not even two years old, but she was aggressive and we ended up deciding that she wasn't safe to even give away. She was such a danger to others, particularly little children, that in the end we made the heart-wrenching decision that she needed to be destroyed. Our daughters were wracked with sobs, having to lose this good friend. They saved up their money for our 'dog fund' for years and to have it end this way was so overwhelmingly awful. It was hard for them to go through and it was physically agonizing for me to watch. This was the very same puppy we got just ten days before I found the original tumor. This dog, Keta, was with me through it all, such a loyal friend, and just a sense of comfort to me when I couldn't do anything but pet her soft ears and smell her puppy-ness. I grieved so hard for her (and still do a bit). So that was pretty much all of April.
In May we got another dog, who we just love. His name is Doc and he's such a floppy loveable goober. But again, having a puppy is more work and worry. I've not been sleeping well and am up several times a night to take him out and make sure Hubby gets enough rest to get to work in the mornings.
Also in May and so far in June, we have had lots of visitors, which let's face it... even though it is a joyful blessing to have company, it can hold its own anxieties and stressors. I'm so very thankful our families can come, but without my being stridently mindful of requiring less strain on my healing body, I'm sure I've gotten a little too hassled and worried about minor things like clean towels and dog hair in the soup.
So, with that backstory, here's what were aren't doing about funky test results: panicking.
Here's what we are doing: We'll retest my blood on July 7. Until then, I'm going to stick unflinchingly hard to my vegan diet with all my supplements, and I am going to exercise often, sleep well, and be mellow - not stressed.
Once we get new results (on my hopefully healthier, detoxed blood), we will see where the numbers are. If down, we're good. I just will know for certain that even organic potato chips cooked in avocado oil are not okay for my body, and I will continue my strict diet. FYI, I slid off my healthy eating a little bit during that time, too. More meat and fats than I know I should have crept back in, but still no dairy and very little sugar or gluten. And we were/are still all organic.
If the new test results are up, even further than this most recent test, then we'll head down for a bone scan and see what's what. Even my healthy eating will likely not combat those numbers so strongly that they would rise in the face of a fast-growing tumor.
I would welcome your prayers. Stay tuned....
Since March 2013, I've been having blood drawn every three months to be on top of any abnormalities. Each test, my tumor markers have continued to go down. Slowly, almost imperceptibly sometimes, but definitely heading in the right direction. Not always as quickly as we'd like to see them go, but still, they were merrily heading down, which is were we want them to go. Almost to zero if we can get them there.
They were.
The first week of June, the test showed the markers have doubled since my last test on March 1.
Now, this is not automatically terrifying. For one, we don't know why the numbers went up. This could be due to many things and we haven't ruled out any of them. Some culprits are (in the order they come to my brain): faulty or botched test; cancer cells have congregated and formed into another tumor; my diet and stress level were both awful for the three-month period and the numbers are showing the effects.
Another thing, the numbers are still in a relatively normal range. With these numbers, I still wouldn't be diagnosed with cancer (again). I'm still doing fine, but possibly something is changing and we want to know now before I can actually see and feel a tumor like last time.
My gut instinct is that it is diet- and stress-related. And here's why-
In April we put our dog down. That was just brutal. She was not even two years old, but she was aggressive and we ended up deciding that she wasn't safe to even give away. She was such a danger to others, particularly little children, that in the end we made the heart-wrenching decision that she needed to be destroyed. Our daughters were wracked with sobs, having to lose this good friend. They saved up their money for our 'dog fund' for years and to have it end this way was so overwhelmingly awful. It was hard for them to go through and it was physically agonizing for me to watch. This was the very same puppy we got just ten days before I found the original tumor. This dog, Keta, was with me through it all, such a loyal friend, and just a sense of comfort to me when I couldn't do anything but pet her soft ears and smell her puppy-ness. I grieved so hard for her (and still do a bit). So that was pretty much all of April.
In May we got another dog, who we just love. His name is Doc and he's such a floppy loveable goober. But again, having a puppy is more work and worry. I've not been sleeping well and am up several times a night to take him out and make sure Hubby gets enough rest to get to work in the mornings.
Also in May and so far in June, we have had lots of visitors, which let's face it... even though it is a joyful blessing to have company, it can hold its own anxieties and stressors. I'm so very thankful our families can come, but without my being stridently mindful of requiring less strain on my healing body, I'm sure I've gotten a little too hassled and worried about minor things like clean towels and dog hair in the soup.
So, with that backstory, here's what were aren't doing about funky test results: panicking.
Here's what we are doing: We'll retest my blood on July 7. Until then, I'm going to stick unflinchingly hard to my vegan diet with all my supplements, and I am going to exercise often, sleep well, and be mellow - not stressed.
Once we get new results (on my hopefully healthier, detoxed blood), we will see where the numbers are. If down, we're good. I just will know for certain that even organic potato chips cooked in avocado oil are not okay for my body, and I will continue my strict diet. FYI, I slid off my healthy eating a little bit during that time, too. More meat and fats than I know I should have crept back in, but still no dairy and very little sugar or gluten. And we were/are still all organic.
If the new test results are up, even further than this most recent test, then we'll head down for a bone scan and see what's what. Even my healthy eating will likely not combat those numbers so strongly that they would rise in the face of a fast-growing tumor.
I would welcome your prayers. Stay tuned....
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Another Anniversary to Celebrate
It was one year ago today that I was recovering from my double mastectomy. Of all the treatments and decisions over the past year, this is one that I don't regret one bit. After all, not everyone can say they lost almost seven pounds in a day and a year later have kept it off, right?
Last year, the six weeks or so just after the surgery were easily the hardest, darkest period of this cancer journey. We were making hard choices with questionable information coming from many sources. We were facing the fact that I would likely not survive for very long at all. There was pain in all shapes, there was anxiety, so much uncertainty.
Now, today, we have embraced that uncertainty as just a way of life. It is after all a fact. None of us - no, not one - knows when we will breathe our last breath on this earth. We live in the immediacy of that fact and it is a gift to be able to do so.
This season I pray and hope and wish you that awareness of our short time here. Make every day, every hour, every moment count for something. Even it counts only for rest, for contentment, for ease and tranquility, take each precious instant and just be aware that we wont get it back. Even if it is not perfect, not wonderful, not amazing, at least make it not wrong, not awful, not bitter.
God bless each one of you this Christmas season. May He work in beautiful and mysterious ways in the lives of your families to remind you that He is the only certain Thing we have.
Last year, the six weeks or so just after the surgery were easily the hardest, darkest period of this cancer journey. We were making hard choices with questionable information coming from many sources. We were facing the fact that I would likely not survive for very long at all. There was pain in all shapes, there was anxiety, so much uncertainty.
Now, today, we have embraced that uncertainty as just a way of life. It is after all a fact. None of us - no, not one - knows when we will breathe our last breath on this earth. We live in the immediacy of that fact and it is a gift to be able to do so.
This season I pray and hope and wish you that awareness of our short time here. Make every day, every hour, every moment count for something. Even it counts only for rest, for contentment, for ease and tranquility, take each precious instant and just be aware that we wont get it back. Even if it is not perfect, not wonderful, not amazing, at least make it not wrong, not awful, not bitter.
God bless each one of you this Christmas season. May He work in beautiful and mysterious ways in the lives of your families to remind you that He is the only certain Thing we have.
 |
| On the banks of the might Missouri |
Monday, September 9, 2013
Happy One Year Anniversary.... very happy!
Well, it was exactly one year ago today (Sept 10) that I was diagnosed with stage 3 NCIS breast cancer. Just last Wednesday, Sept 4, I had my port-a-cath removed. This chapter in my/our life is over yet the lessons and gifts will remain.
Seems almost unreal that a whole year has passed, or that only a year has passed.
We have come so far.
We have learned to value our health.
We have learned to honor our bodies as the temples they are, seeking to serve God more completely with our vitality and strength and energy, those things that result from good nutrition.
We have made so many memories, done so many fun, cool things... things that at one point I never thought I'd get to do.
We've come face-to-face with death and embraced the concept, the reality, that each of us four will die away from this life and that one of us will be the last to go. We've talked about how sad or joyous or bewildering or upsetting that will be. No matter how great and deep our reliance on our Lord, even Jesus wept when Lazarus died. We too will weep.
We've prioritized. We are living so much more fully in the present that it is sometimes hard to get too irate about dirty socks on the floor or dishes not washed or dogs not walked.
We've regained focus and energy. We are motivated to do as much as we can without wasting a minute.
We've learned that family is precious and that friends are amazing, some of them so much like family that we treasure them as such.
We've learned that people want to help and we need to let them.
We're reminded that running is fun, exercise is essential, and good is contagious.
And finally, we've learned that broccoli isn't so bad. Really!
These pictures are from our recent trip to a cabin several hours by boat away from us. It was an amazing, magical place.
Thanks for continuing to check in here. We've had incredible weather this summer so blogging has been at a minimum, but it's still a joy to be able to share.
Please feel free to share this blog, comment below, or ask questions.
Seems almost unreal that a whole year has passed, or that only a year has passed.
We have come so far.
We have learned to value our health.
We have learned to honor our bodies as the temples they are, seeking to serve God more completely with our vitality and strength and energy, those things that result from good nutrition.
We have made so many memories, done so many fun, cool things... things that at one point I never thought I'd get to do.
We've come face-to-face with death and embraced the concept, the reality, that each of us four will die away from this life and that one of us will be the last to go. We've talked about how sad or joyous or bewildering or upsetting that will be. No matter how great and deep our reliance on our Lord, even Jesus wept when Lazarus died. We too will weep.
We've prioritized. We are living so much more fully in the present that it is sometimes hard to get too irate about dirty socks on the floor or dishes not washed or dogs not walked.
We've regained focus and energy. We are motivated to do as much as we can without wasting a minute.
We've learned that family is precious and that friends are amazing, some of them so much like family that we treasure them as such.
We've learned that people want to help and we need to let them.
We're reminded that running is fun, exercise is essential, and good is contagious.
And finally, we've learned that broccoli isn't so bad. Really!
 |
| shrimp with BROCCOLI and other yummy veggies |
 |
| SO good! |
 |
| Apparently Annie's Cheddar Bunnies are also good |
 |
| fresh-caught rockfish - yum |
 |
| sunny iceberg |
 |
| seastar and Amy |
 |
| Can you see that little harbor seal sneaking up on the seagulls? He was just cruising by that iceberg looking for trouble. |
Thanks for continuing to check in here. We've had incredible weather this summer so blogging has been at a minimum, but it's still a joy to be able to share.
Please feel free to share this blog, comment below, or ask questions.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)